gender symmetry in domestic violence

This is six pages you can download and provide to anyone who wants to argue that men are not equally victims of domestic violence. This article has a collection of over 280 studies and domestic violence research including Statistics Canada General Social Survey on Family Violence. This article is about science and not myth.

These references are dual gender domestic violence research studies.





Why we publish this report

We are sending this report to the media, and those persons and organizations who deal with family violence, in the hope that we can correct a serious misunderstanding about this very important issue.

Much of the women’s shelter movement is seriously misinformed about the causes and scope of family violence. We were also seriously misinformed. We have learned a lot over the years.

This misunderstanding of the family violence issue is so pervasive that city and county governments, the courts, law enforcement, prosecutor’s offices, mental health clinics, and other tax supported agencies are now funding programs based on feminist propaganda rather than responsible scientific studies.


How can this be?

Violence against family members is something women do at least as often as men! There are dozens of solid scientific studies that reveal a startlingly different picture of family violence than what we usually see in the media. For instance:

*   Women are three times more likely than men to use weapons in spousal violence.

*   Women initiate most incidents of spousal violence.

*   Women commit most child abuse and most elder abuse.

*   Women hit their male children more frequently and more severely than they hit their female children.

*   Women commit most child murders and 64% of their victims are male children.

*   When women murder adults the majority of their victims are men.

*   Women commit 52% of spousal killings and are convicted of 41% of spousal murders.

*   Eighty two percent of the general population had their first experience of violence at the hands of women.


Why we don’t know the truth.

How could we all be so mistaken about family violence? Have we been conned? Have we been taken in by one of the slickest “stings” ever executed? Here is how the truth has been hidden.

Misleading statistics – Men do not usually report their violent wives to police. Children do not usually report their violent mothers to the police. Women are far more likely to report men to the police. One study done of emergency room patients shows that only 1% of men who were injured by their wives reported the incident to police. That should be enough to be suspicious of police statistics on spousal violence. Some women need to call the police because there is a real need for intervention, however, there is more than one reason for a wife to report a husband.

Women are encouraged to report spousal violence by countless media reminders. Propaganda always includes the female victim and the male perpetrator. Men are discouraged from claiming to be victims of violent women.

Some wives call police because they are frightened by a minor incident. Perhaps she thought calling the police was a “trump card” in an argument. These women do not realize that with one phone call they have invited the government and feminism into their home.

Some wives make false reports because there are legal, financial, and child custody rewards for making a false report.

These factors distort police statistics beyond usefulness to anyone who is sincerely looking for the truth about family violence. Other factors also contribute to the truth being hidden and the public being “scammed”.

Anti male hate groups- It suits the political agenda of feminists to quote statistics that make men look bad. Most of the feminist empire depends on their success in demonizing men. The term “family violence” is familiar to professionals and is inclusive of violent females. Feminists began to use the term “domestic violence” while quoting arrest statistics that emphasized male abusers and female victims. This was necessary so the public focus would be on the only police statistics that made their scam look believable. Con artists call this the “hook”.

The Media – To make the feminist “sting” complete; the media obsequiously seeks out the women’s shelter, or another feminist source, whenever they do a story on family violence. The feminist party line gets transmitted to the public almost verbatim. Scientific studies on family violence are ignored or are deliberately censored by most of America’s media outlets.

This sting has been operating successfully for 30 years. It’s time to shut it down! This misuse of distorted police statistics to push a “female victims” agenda is widespread and very misleading. Feminists have high jacked the legitimate issue of family violence and turned it into “America’s Most Successful Political Hoax”.

The promotion of family violence myths and misleading statistics detracts from the importance and scope of the family violence problem. A falsely framed issue skews understanding and jeopardizes justice. For example, former Massachusetts Bar Association President Elaine Epstein stated, “It has become essentially impossible to effectively represent a man against whom any allegation of domestic violence has been made.”


The other police statistics you don’t hear about

Men and children may not report when they are injured by a woman, however, the dead bodies of the men and children who are the victims of violent women are usually reported. Murder statistics are far more reliable than reported abuse statistics. The Bureau of Justice Statistics released a report of family homicides in 33 urban counties. These quoted statistics represent convictions only:

“In spouse murders, women represented 41 percent of killers.”

“In murders of their offspring, women predominated, accounting for 55 percent of killers.”

“Among black marital partners, wives were just about as likely to kill their husbands as husbands were to kill their wives: 47 percent of the victims of a spouse were husbands and 53 percent were wives.”

This is a long way from the feminist claim that “men are responsible for 90% of family violence”. Those who quote law enforcement statistics to support the “male villain-female victim” dogma are either misled or deliberately attempting to mislead. We have been scammed!


The hidden victims

The scientific data shows that both men and women are violent to a far greater extent than police statistics reveal. This scientific data shows that spousal violence is mostly unreported. In fact, some degree of violence occurs at a rate of 113 incidents per 1000 couples per year (husband. on wife) and 121 incidents per 1000 couples per year (wife on husband)! The feminist’s use of crime statistics to support their argument gives the misleading impression that spousal violence is rare.

Many local women’s shelters emphasize female victims reported to the police, and ignore much larger numbers of women, children, and men who are also victims of family violence. I quote from a brochure from a battered women’s shelter: “What Is Domestic Violence? Domestic violence is an increasingly visible social and legal problem wherein women are abused by their partners.” Notice that it doesn’t say that this is one aspect of domestic violence, or that this is the aspect that they deal with, but rather that this is domestic violence.

Surely domestic violence is violence which takes place at home, the word ‘domestic’ referring to the definition “of or relating to the household or the family”.And after using ‘physical abuse’ as the topic to begin the discussion of abuse, (more accurately, “the physical abuse of women by men”), many shelter workers go on to mention all the other types of abuse men do to women, like emotional and psychological.

The conversation seldom returns to look at any type of abuse by women to men eventhough dozens of scientific studies indicate women are at least as violent as men in “domestic” settings. Some leaders in the women’s shelter movement arefully aware of the broader scope of family violence but hold fast to the villain/victim dogma. Why? They must maintain their power and fund raising base. If they lose their special “victim status” they will rapidly go out of business. They may also be guilty of fraudulent fund raising.


Feminism Vs Science and the Law

There is much confusion about whom to believe in the debate about spousal violence. On one side we have women’s shelter advocates and feminists who rely on law enforcement statistics. On the other side we have social scientists who rely on scientifically structured studies. Unfortunately, the results of scientific studies do not receive media attention. America’s press is seemingly more interested in political correctness than scientific accuracy. Therefore, the public perception, and the perception of many well-intentioned domestic violence activists, is radically skewed away from the more balanced perception of social scientists.

Many abuse shelter personnel are unaware of the scientific studies, even though they claim to be “domestic violence experts” and often conduct “training” sessions for government agencies. How could someone be an expert without awareness of the scientific studies in their field? There are towns and cities in our country where the entire legal establishment, including law enforcement, family law attorneys, and judges, are making decisions about family violence based on political propaganda rather than well established research.

Here is a comment on the subject from a judge who asked for our report. We have rescued him from any consequences resulting from his candor by disguising his identity.

Thanks for the interesting information. I am a judge in xxxxx who regularly hearsrequests for domestic violence orders of protection. The DV issue has been politicized big time in our area. We judges are ordered to attend “consciousness raising” seminars where we are harangued by feminist “experts”. Supervising judges have been courted and won over, and now we have annual breakfasts honoring judges who cooperate with the feminist “agenda”.

As a former prosecutor and divorce lawyer I know that the best deterrent to violence by human beings is arrest, prosecution and appropriate consequences. With well-prepared cases, vigorous prosecution, and no nonsense consequences thecycle of abuse can be broken, no matter who the abuser is. Humans become habitual abusers because they get away with it. It is impossible to make progress in reducing domestic violence until we recognize that women are violent.

As a member of an advisory committee for the local shelter I was shocked at the attitudes of the ladies who ran the center: The ONLY solution championed by the shelter was to get free from that big bad male. The committee expressed concern about the underlying anti-male bias which even showed up in the name of the shelter and recommended that the name be changed to The Center for Victims of Abuse – rather than Women’s Strength.

Anyway, I forwarded your piece on to a couple of other judges – some of whom will undoubtedly immediately reject it’s premise.


Judge xxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx

The typical response of the abuse shelter feminists upon first hearing the results of the scientific studies is to “shoot the messenger”. You can almost hear their minds snap closed. There is an almost cult like “party line” among victim advocates. Much of the belief system of their “cult” has no more scientific orrational basis than that of fanatical religious cults.

On theother hand, some abuse agency personnel have not accepted the feminist “partyline”; particularly religiously sponsored family services organizations. They are eager to have accurate information upon which to plan and implementrational programs for prevention, intervention, and treatment for abusers and victims of both genders.

Are the family violence “experts” in your community aware of the scientific studies? What is happening at the abuse shelter in your community?


Spousal Violence in Other Countries

We think it is important to note that there have been the same kind of studies done in many countries. There is cross-cultural verification that women are more violent than men in family settings. When behavior has cross-cultural verification it means that it is part of human nature rather than a result of cultural conditioning. Females are most often the perpetrators in spousal violence in most cultures that have been studied to date. That leads many professionals to conclude that there is something biological about violent females in family situations. Researchers are now exploring the role of the “territorial imperative” as a factor in women’s violence against men. Women see the home as their territory. Like many other species on the planet, we humans will ignore size difference when we experience conflict on our own territory. So, the scientific results that reveal the violence of American women are not unique to our culture, and do not indicate a special pathology among American women.

World wide, women are more violent than men in family settings.

One of the leading researchers in this field is Susan Steinmetz, Ph.D. She did across-cultural comparison of marital abuse published in Journal of Sociology, and Social Welfare, entitled “Married Couples from 9 Different Cultures”. These cross-cultural studies yielded results very similar to family violence studies done in the United States and other nations. Another survey of couples in Canada found the same familiar pattern in that the rate of severe husband-to-wife violence was 4.8%, while severe wife-to-husband violence was10%. Brinkerhoff & Lupri, Canadian Journal of Sociology, (1989)

The Propaganda Problem

Abuse shelter advocates and feminists have severely distorted the picture and deliberately produce fraudulent statistics and dis-information. Even when they quote well-grounded statistics, they misuse the information. Here is an example: One of the favorite statistics quoted by abuse shelter advocates is that a woman is the victim of spousal violence every 15 seconds. This statisticis deduced from a well conducted piece of research which was published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, a respected professional journal for marriage and family therapists. The Abuse Shelter advocates arrived at this figure by using one of the conclusions of the study, i.e.; 1.8 million women suffer an assault from a husband or boyfriend per year. What abuse shelter advocates always fail to report is another finding of the same study, i.e.; 2 million men are assaulted by a wife or girl friend per year, which translates as, a man is the victim of spousal violence every 14 seconds. This is typical of the widespread deception practiced by abuse shelter advocates. America’s press establishment is a party to this deception, and shares the blame for exacerbating the problem by helping to perpetuate a false diagnosis.

Acknowledging that women are abusers leads to better solutions.

Women usually initiate spousal violence episodes (they hit first), and women hit more frequently, as well as using weapons three times more often then men. This combination of violent acts means that efforts to find solutions to the family violence problem need to include appropriate focus on female perpetrators. We need to recognize that women are violent, and we need nationwide educational programs that portray women as perpetrators. Other studies show that men are becoming less violent at the same time that women are becoming more violent. Educating men seems to be working. Educating women to be less violent should now be the main thrust of public education programs.

Any family violence program which accepts the “male abuser – female victim” paradigm is based on a false premise. These kind of family violence programs actually perpetuate the problem of abuse and do not deserve to be supported by private citizens or government agencies. Many government agencies, and legitimate charities, have been funding a feminist political cause, rather than funding rational, solution focused, family violence prevention and treatment programs.

What kind of family violence program do you have in your community? Does your local program encourage the healing of families, or do they take the “divorce” approach? Does the family violence prevention program in your community devote as much attention to violent females, as it does to violent males? If not, why not?

Women’s shelters are usually feminist front organizations. We need a family-friendly agency in our community that delivers services to all family members and works to preserve families, not tear them apart. We don’t need a feminist group with an anti-male, anti-family political axe to grind.

We need to separate gender politics from the issue of family violence. We need to look at the full spectrum of family violence, not just female victims. We need to consult scientific studies when we make policy decisions. We cannot hope to implement rational, solution-focused programs and policies until we face the fact that “behind closed doors” women are at least as violent as men.


Findings from Statistics Canada Juristat report

Findings from Statistics Canada Juristat report clearly supports the concern pertaining to the lack of gender diversity in the survey. (Statistics Canada; Juristat 85-002-XIE, Vol. 27, no. 4 )

  • “About 7% of women and 6% of men across the country are the victims of Domestic violence at the hands of a current or former spouse or common-law partner according to results from the 2004 GSS on Victimization” Page 2.
  • “Annual operating costs for womens shelters totaled approximately $317 million 2005/2006.” Page 1.
  • “Canada’s shelters for abused women reported annual revenues of approximately $333 million for the 12 month period ending March 31. Page 8.
  • In 2006 there were 553 shelters providing residential services to women and children…” Page2.
  • In 2010 DV against women dropped to 6.4% while DV against men is still holding at 6%.

Womens groups receive over $500,000,000 in funding, see SOW ( Status of Women Canada ). Where as… There is Absolutly NO funding for men and male victims of female perpetrated domestic violence.

Without funding, mens services will be FORCED to terminate in the very near future.


  1. Jeff
    December 18, 2019

    So true I m suffering horrible abuse from my wife but stayed with for years for my kids now there moved out of the house I’m getting worse

  2. Anonymous
    February 22, 2018

    Feminism is not anti-male.

    Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social equality of sexes.

  3. Linda
    February 12, 2018

    Good afternoon,

    I am a currently in a pre social work program. My sociology class has me doing a group project. My fellow student and I are doing ours on Domestic Violence against men. W e are going to be doing a Photo voice project. We both know men who are in these horrible conditions. I am struggling with trying to find any information on this important issue. Any help or information you could send me would be greatly appreciated. Or where to even start looking.

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