A final letter from Earl Silverman


 

“I am a male victim of female perpetrated domestic violence.”

These are the final words from Earl Silverman, written on 3 sheets of recycled paper in the late night hours before his body was found early in the morning of April 26th, 2013.

These are the final words from Earl Silverman, written on 3 sheets of recycled paper in the late night hours before his body was found early in the morning of April 26th, 2013.

“For the last 20+ yearsI attempted to find support services & make the gov of Alberta aware of the lack of support services for men.

I failed in both goals: nothing for me and nothing for men. Alberta failed to take my submissions serious for 20+ years – the only time they took me serious was based on a rhetorical comment to [unintelligible].

Today started & continued to be a great day but that changed with —— attempt to extort an additional $1200.00 which he knows I paid to —–. Due to his greed to line his pockets I spent time away from the move. The time lost created a series of events that has caused additional stress that put me over the edge.

The last time I looked to support was with James at the Sheldon Chumir Centre: rather than acknowledge that I suffered from PTSD due to female perpetrated domestic violence he called me Narcissistic Personality Disorder with no treatment because he does not believe that men are victims of female perpetrated domestic violence.

Blair Mason dismissed my human rights complaint on the basis of no substantiated need.

Maybe my death will create a need.

One death on the basis of preventable issue is one too many. LGTT [LGBT] are less of a population then victims but there is funding for research & services but not for men.

Alberta considers men less than dogs, cats & cows as demo in NOV 2012 Diverse Voices Family Violence Conference men are perpetrators & pets & livestock are [unintelligible] victims.

There are numerous storms happening in my head.

These storms are in a combined storm. I cannot think straight I cannot reason well. I cannot hold onto a thought long enough to work through it. A thought just gets picked up by the storm & swept away with out being dealt with. Lack of focus creates all sorts of problems – like not being able to hold onto a job. Thinking things through to an end result before everything gets mixed up & blow away.

I hope Hemi has a good home. He is a good cat.

I hope a review of my death creates services for men.

Men similar to me self medicate with drugs or/and alcohol & end up destitute & homeless or they take their own life= Why do I have to go so far to get the proper services of support : I don’t understand the storm in my head is severe I can’t take it any longer

————————– are appreciated as my lawyers

No one knew about my choice I hid it well

It was a good day but the storm in my head is tooo severe I hope it is [unintelligible] with my efforts for personal as well as general support for male. victims of female perpetrated violence

My death is due to not being taken serious on the issue lack of services. Alberta Spends $60 million for women & nothing for men  where is the equality where is my dignity as a victim who could not reach the point of survivor ? ? ? ?

I am tired & cant deal with it any more.

I appoint —— and —— to handle my estate & create a Family of Men educational Scholarship for male victims of female perpetrated domestic violence

I hope Allison Redford is advised of my demise & Devinder Shory.

If this is the only way to get attention of the issue – so be it. Sorry everybody for your pain – my choice nothing you could do only Alberta & services for men.”

 

These are the final words from Earl Silverman, written on 3 sheets of recycled paper in the late night hours before his body was found early in the morning of April 26th, 2013. (This text has been typed by a friend who did their best to decipher and honour punctuation.)

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12 Responses to A final letter from Earl Silverman

  1. michael kullik says:

    Men can be abused by women. It happened to me. Why is it so hard to believe. If this man would have had maybe one person to listen and believe him he would most likely be around to tell more what he went through.

  2. A.R. Dalton says:

    I can relate to Earl’s plight as I was a victim of female perpetrated abuse. I went from being abused as a child into a marriage to a woman much like my abusive stepfather and it is something I deal with each day. It would be a gift from heaven to see equality put into the issue of domestic violence and abuse in general. I hope Earl is honored the way he should be for his valiant effort in this cause!

  3. Christine Giancarlo says:

    Violence is violence and hate begets hate. Rather than blame feminists or anyone else in energy-wasting efforts for attention, I believe Earl demonstrated that men deserve equal rights with women. Violence perpetrated against men is as unconscionable as it is when perpetrated against women and children. Let’s use our collective strength and voice to force government to pay attention to this imbalance in human rights. Great change happens only when people cooperate and persist in their pursuit of “doing good”. Most women are good; most men are good. Stop polarizing this argument as this shooting oneself in the foot. Walk a Mile in Her Shoes is a campaign that ignores men, for example. Let’s get it changed to include men!

  4. Chris J says:

    The politicians mentioned in Earl’s letter bear responsibility for his death – and the heartless exploitation they perpetrate on men by support hateful feminists programs.

    But Men of Alberta need to tell them at the ballot box also. Let’s not forget this terrible tragedy.

    • Chris J says:

      Alison Redford has resigned as Premier of Alberta effective Sunday due to her unpopularity with her Cabinet, Caucus and most importantly – the voters. As one well-regarded MLA mentioned after he resigned “She is not a very nice lady”.

      Earl would have agreed.

  5. Ken Wiebe says:

    I knew earl or many years, and met him once in Calgary (purely by accident) when I was on vacation in Alberta. earl was always so optimistic and positive that the Alberta government would take note of the pressing need, and allocate some small portion of the millions spent on helping others. I did my best to persuade him to manage his expectations because I always believed that Canadian governments, being the root cause of the problem, are very unlikely to try and address a problem that they are already spending much time and effort to cause. Deliberately, I suspect.

    I was never able to persuade Earl, and he died an optimist, thinking his death might bring about some positive change.

    A terrible end for a good man.

  6. Steve Coop says:

    I will offer a suggestion for anyone who is interested. There is a doctor who is interested in helping individual men. Each person must reach out for help on their own initiative, and here is a place to start. Contact Dr. Todd in Red Deer, at Alberta Mental Health. Ask for the Strategies Support Group which meets every Tuesday afternoon.

    • Deb says:

      bless you for offering hope in this thread for anyone suffering this ! i have for many years insisted that men also suffer this and that it is a glaring blind spot to not support them.

  7. Russ M says:

    I have had the pleasure to have known Earl for several years. In the time that I had known him, he was always trying to find some way to get the government to recognize the plight that men suffer, and the simple fact that men need some support too. I helped him with a few letters, and we discussed ideas on many different ways to get the needed attention. I always found him to be an educated and enlightened man, and I held him in high regard for what he was doing. He helped me with some issues I had, and I have been told that he held me in high regard. I am saddened by his death, but I will not let it be in vain. His message is one that needs to be seen through.

  8. Gerald Morris says:

    In his memory, a candle light vigil in many cities should be done on the night he committed suicide. His pain and what he went through should not be forgotten, should not be allowed to be ignored. We will not allow Earl Silverman nor the many other men who have committed suicide to be quietly forgotten in the night.

    Let’s try to organize this. We can make a facebook page to organize it and send it out. Please search me out on facebook.

  9. Murray Pearson says:

    I can relate all to well to the “storm” Earl talks about; that same storm rages in my head every day. Earl and I worked together on those futile letters to Alison Redford. May every last one of them burn in the hell of their own creation.

    We miss you, Earl.

  10. M. Harder says:

    I have only known Earl a short time. But I know his plight for 3 years now. I have someone close to me lose his children to inequality because of a system who prefer to only believe that women can parent 3 children. He now suffers from PTSD due to this. Earl’s death is a sad loss to a strong man who was willing to fight the odds. I am hopeful that society will see the indifference they have towards men who have been abused and neglected and overpowered by ignorance. If we can all be just as strong as Earl, maybe we can make a difference.

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